An Update
Some people have asked me to write about what has changed for me after four years of studying non-dualism and leading the Wa explorations, so I share here some of my reflections.
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Reality is. It is present now. It cannot be explained. It is unfolding even as you read these words. It is whole.
Our thoughts and actions are part of reality. They belong to reality. We think they belong to us. And that’s where the problems begin.
Within reality, within the experience of reality granted to us, a common context generally frames what is experienced, namely, that there is a separate, individual agent (“me”) thinking and acting by its own cause.
The agent is ultimately separate from, even if related to, the greater outside. And it is responsible for making this life work. It is therefore generally afraid. And it develops patterns for coping, both to make things work and to deal with the fear.
These patterns affect the experiences that arise. Because the patterns shape the experience of reality, new circumstances get organized by these patterns so that nothing substantive appears to change. If staying very busy is a coping pattern, then busyness will happen regardless of the change in “external” circumstances. In this sense, we can say that the reality we experience is a projection of our coping patterns.
From the context of being a separate agent, reality is always incomplete. Something is missing or something needs to be done. The flavor of everyday experience is that things should be different. But reality is exactly as it is. Interpretations, emotions, memories, thoughts—all are aspects of reality. And all are exactly as they are right now.
The flavor “should be different” is the essence of suffering. Living from the sense of separateness, of incompleteness, reality shows up in a limited fashion, shaped again and again by our coping patterns. The coping patterns are held fiercely in place by the fear that arises from being alone and at risk in a greater universe.
Reality is and it unfolds as it does. Our actions and thoughts belong to reality. As we let go of our sense of being separate causal agents, the coping patterns become less solid. The inherent richness of reality reveals itself more readily.
Beyond the coping patterns, which really aren’t very interesting, is something really interesting about each of us. I have begun referring to is as the “presence wave”—which is a way of describing how our simple presence shifts the space for others’ experience of reality. All of us have (or perhaps I should say “are”) a presence wave. The presence wave is modified by moods and emotions, and over time it can evolve in new ways, but a basic underlying pattern appears to remain all of our lives. This pattern reveals itself in the space others report they experience around us—the space in which they can show up. The presence wave is not something consciously projected. It is simply there.
Recognizing the “shape” of one’s presence wave appears to be helpful in allowing us to trust that our normal feverish attention to coping patterns is not necessary. The richer, more interesting, more contributory effects we have on others happen without us doing anything. It comes with our presence. Actions accompany presence, of course, but many of these actions flow without much conscious direction.
In the already existing presence wave, one can identify a pattern to one’s life, even daresay, a purpose. The purpose is not something to be decided. It is already there, already affecting others. It is to be discerned, appreciated, and “relaxed into.”
We are of reality, and reality is of us. All of the above is pointing to this statement.