The other day, while lying on a bed getting an acupuncture treatment, an interesting experience happened to me. Without any obvious prompting, I began to imagine what dying must be like. Not death, but dying—the final moments.
What happened was a sense of fading attachment to the concerns that constitute my life. Everything that is day-to-day just lost its significance. It was very clear that there was no reason for things, or even relations, to have significance any longer, and I didn’t mind that they wouldn’t. The closest word I can give to the experience was “dissolving.” If I had to say what I was dissolving into, I would say peace and stillness.
In the midst of this dissolving, two questions showed up (really, two aspects of the same question), both of which seemed extraordinarily important:
• Did I live an honorable life?
• Did I contribute to others?
My life came down to these two questions. Nothing else. Not accomplishment, money, spiritual attainment, or anything else. Just these two questions.
The experience left me very clear about what I want to be able to answer in the end.
If One:
No differentiation.
Only one (of whatever it is.)
The devil is part of the one.
Nothing to fear.
No opposite.
No opposition.
Time—past, present, and future—is one and is unified with (non-local) space.
All matter and energy are the same Oneness.
If Many:
Each of us is separate.
What is outside of us is much larger than us.
Normal states: anxiety, fear, loneliness, questions of worth.
Emotions that can arise: envy, jealousy, greed.
We strive to take care of ourselves as best we can.
Some of us focus on our material needs.
Some focus on our emotional needs.
And others focus on our character needs.
And all of us fail to some degree.
The Challenge:
The everyday appearance to us is the Many.
The Many is the One manifesting itself in a way it can be experienced.
Experience requires differentiation, which means the appearance of the Many (a thing can only be experienced if it is bounded by something else.)
So, there can be no experience of the Oneness.
Indeed, all hopes to achieve experience of the Oneness are in vain.
The Possibility:
If the Many is understood as a manifestation of the One, something changes.
That which perceives, perceives differently.
The perceiver knows there is no aloneness.
The perceiver knows that there is ultimately no separate self to act, or decide, or DO anything.
The perceiver knows that thoughts, feelings, moods, memories, ambitions arise in the One.
And the perceiver knows that seeing the Many is seeing the One.
Peace becomes possible.
Chris